Reason #873 why I hate dog parks.

Let me preface this on a totally unrelated note: Maddox rocks. Random? Not really. In the short month he's been with me he's learned sit, down, heel, sit in heel, loose leash, leave it, come, load up (get in the car), unload (get out of the car), hand target, look, crate up, and wait, among other things.

Now on to the ranty part, which I will also preface with a bit of a story. Not an interesting one, but a story nonetheless.

Since it's the beginning of the month, everyone has new money to go pet shopping with. This is a common occurrence with my roommates and myself. We will load up the dogs (yes, sometimes even all ten of them) and spend the day driving from pet store to pet store all over the state, usually until it gets dark. Crazy, no. Dog nuts, definitely. Today we had Maddox, Piper, Ayla and Juni with us. We traversed several counties in search of pet stores, and after visiting several and nearly emptying a Petsmart clearance bin (well how else do you expect us to get toys, food and treats for ten dogs? By paying full price for them, nooooo!) we decided to let the dogs burn out some energy at a local dog park before we took the long drive home. 

There was a nice dog park in Burlington, NC, so we headed that way. When we arrived there were a bunch of little dogs on the small dog side, and a lethargic elderly black lab in the big dog enclosure. We entered and our dogs took of running. Soon several other people and dogs arrived, and one of my roommates and I commented on how bad the body language of every single dog entering the park was. Head low, body stiff, tail stiff, hackles raised, etc.

This wasn't a problem, we kept our dogs from fence rushing as new dogs entered, but soon two "regulars" came in. Seven month old siblings Goldie and Max (we were told Great Pyr/Golden mixes)... more likely neither, but I digress, and they immediately rushed Juni, who is a fairly submissive Aussie/Border mix. Lisa, my roommate, shooed the dogs away. The owner crossed his arms and gave her a nasty look.

Then a man with a young, rescue Rottie came into the dog park, and Goldie and Max bounded over and started barking in the poor dog's face. The Rottie showed extreme restraint, and was cowering, and NOBODY WAS DOING ANYTHING. Literally, they're sitting on the benches schmoozing and it isn't until the Rottie growls and nips and Goldie snaps back that anybody sighs, gets up, and saunters over to break it up. By that time, the poor Rottie had run off and Goldie was now guarding a stick from an extremely large Ridgeback. Everyone just laughed about how Shaka (the Ridgie) should just go find his own stick. Nobody seemed to care that Goldie was showing every tooth in her head.

"Yeah, she's kind of possessive. She won't even let me in bed with my wife sometimes. It's a good thing we have a couch in our room."

*everyone laughs*

"I bring Holly (the Rot) here so she can toughen up. She'll learn how to take care of herself one of these days."

*nods of agreement*

We had had too much. Then of course there has to be the one guy who brings in an obscenely obese Chihuahua mix who growls and bites every single dog in the park. The other side was now empty. I can't think of any reason to bring a dog that small into the large dog size, especially one with aggression issues, when the small dog side was EMPTY.

The dog nipped Maddox and I stepped in between and she snapped at me too. I glared at the guy who laughed and turned to the guy next to him to say, "Yeah, she usually snaps at people who try to take her away from the dogs. She's kind of sassy that way. But nobody ever minds, because they're used to being bitten by bigger dogs."

I'm not used to being bitten by dogs of any size. 

There are a million reasons why dog parks suck, and the biggest ten are below.

1. People with no dog knowledge bring their dogs there.

2. People with dogs that don't get along with other dogs bring their dogs there.

3. People bring little dogs that start things they can't finish.

4. People bring dog aggressive dogs that they swear "are just temperamental with certain dogs."

5. People bring people aggressive dogs that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near anyone.

6. People bring resource aggressive dogs... and their favorite toy.

7. People bring their unsocialized dog and expect the dog park will magically make them social.

8. People bring impressionable puppies who are shaped by the experiences they have at the dog park.

9. People expect the dogs to sort everything out on their own while they sit on their fat asses and laugh.

10. People are idiots.

I hate people. Not dogs. Not even dog parks. But the people who frequent them. I have yet to see a group of dog educated people using the dog park as an active training experience as opposed to sitting down and keeping half an eye on their dog running amok.

*sigh* Some day.

Sensations that make my skin crawl...

I've just spent the last half hour in sensory hell. I took a shower. Usually I'm able to tolerate it, but I got in the shower and the water pressure was strong, it felt like little fire ants stinging me every where the droplets hit. And of course I shed like crazy, so my hair was coming out and getting stuck all over my body. I felt entrapped by my own hair! I started getting on that point of crying, and wiped my eyes (stupidly) and got shampoo in my eyes. I quickly rinsed off and got out, and toweled off, but the wet/dry towel sensation was just short of excruciating on my skin. So here I sit, cold, wet, and semi-clothed. I just want to enjoy showers like most people.

Does this sound stupid to you? That's a journal quote from last week. I would have let it go, except for the fact that when I went to Walmart someone touched me. Worse than touched me. Someone with a (likely) mentally disabled child went running after said child as their kid headed out the automatic doors as I was entering. She pushed me aside into an end cap, which was horribly assaulting to my senses on many different levels. First, because a person touched me, second because a person I didn't know touched me, third because a person I didn't know touched me HARD, and fourthly because a person I didn't know touched me HARD unexpectedly and without asking. The logical part of my brain doesn't expect her to ask permission to move me out of the way to get to her child running into a busy parking lot, but I wanted to scream and punch the woman I was so angry. How DARE she touch me? How DARE she not ask? How DARE I feel this animosity towards a woman just trying to protect her child?

I remember simply being brushed past in a doorway in elementary school and slapping the offending child who did nothing more than touch shoulders with me. But it was unwelcome, unwanted, and I wouldn't tolerate it. I made him feel the way he made me feel, yet only I got in trouble. He could have brushed past me or punched me, and it would have felt the same to me. 

I distinctly remember having all the tags cut out of my clothing, and having to rub shirts on my face or chew on them to make them softer as a young child. I didn't like to be picked up unexpectedly, and god forbid if you tickled me...

I feel so weird needing a service dog to help me with these sensations, but back to the first scenario, the shower, as soon as I got out and was half dry and shivering Maddox jumped up and came over to lick me and eventually settled next to me with half his body draped over my lap. What a beautiful boy. I really do love him...

Halloweirdos

I went with Maddox to my local independent pet store to buy a few things, as well as use it as a training opportunity to work on some of the skills we've been working on at home. Usually there is nobody in there, save maybe one or two people and about half the time someone has a dog. I typically make a point to stay away from the dogs, or if I do interact, from a safe distance. So my question, was it a full moon or is it just Halloween day that brings out all the idiots in full bloom?

As I walk in the door, a lady with a fully extended chihuahua and flexi leash asks me if Maddox is aggressive. I say no. I continue walking forward, and she does as well. The chihuahua rushes Maddox and his body language immediately changes. He tenses, and I pull Mad away, but not fast enough. The chi snaps. What does the lady do? She giggles. She GIGGLES, and says, "Oh, I was hoping that wouldn't happen THIS time." Then walks off on her merry way. I was so furious I didn't even have the words to say anything.

I'm standing at the door not but a few minutes later, still praising and treating Maddox for being such a good boy, talking to someone at the counter about how in the wrong the lady was to just rush me like that, and an elderly lady about twenty feet away at the collar and leash display takes OFF her (also elderly, and rather obese) black lab's collar, and turns back around to the collar display to make a selection of which one she wants to try on first, expecting that the dog won't wander off! The dog makes a slow, arthritic beeline for Maddox, and I just walked out the automatic doors, as did the dog following us. I just walked a large circle in front of the store and came back in the store. The lab did not. The woman went bonkers on me about "How dare I lead her collarless dog into the middle of the parking lot" and "I should have caught him, because any GOOD dog owner would have." As if it was in some way or form MY fault that she took her collar off her dog and left it unattended in a store with automatic doors.

And then finally, because I hung around a bit so Maddox could get love from the employees and one or two customers I know, this apparently invited a lady to tie her dog to a forty pound bag of expensive, high end dog food and head halfway across the store to come see Maddox. She immediately asked what happened to his leg, I said he was probably hit by a car. She proceeds with, "Can I pet him?" and I reluctantly say yes. She starts loving on him and telling him "Oh it's ok. I'll love on you because your mommy let you get hit by a car... Oh you don't look loved enough." I assured her that I would never put him in harms way intentionally (even though I adopted him as an amputee) and he was very, VERY loved.... oh and that her dog had just eaten a really large hole in the bag he was tied to. And of course, no encounter would be complete without the "dagger eyes of doom" that warn you of death if you ever put them in that situation again.

So we went home, which is blissfully quiet, since our neighborhood has all of like three neighbors, none are below the age of fifty. Hence, no trick-or-treaters tonight, though Maddox did fantastic with a young kid that was in the store dressed up as a dragon. He showed slight interest and curiosity but kept walking when I asked him to move on.

So yes, our Halloween party is cancelled due to lack of money, so tonight should be a very quiet night. 

Happy Halloween everyone!

A proper intro is probably in order...

I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Ariel, I'm currently nineteen years old, and I am kind of a quirky person. Sometimes quirky is good, sometimes not. My family calls me quirky, because it's easier than calling me a person with the world ahead of them, who had to throw most of it away because of disabling mental illness. So yes, I'm quirky. And I'm bipolar, ADHD, have sensory integration issues, and also a severe anxiety disorder. All of that prevents me from driving, having many friends, going to college, or simply being the person I strive to be.

So yes, while this blog is about me, my life, my disability and such, this blog is mostly about him.

That's Maddox. He's my service dog in training or SDIT for short.  I'm training him to be my Psychiatric Service dog. He's new to me, but after searching for more than a year, I've found a dog with his temperament. I look forward to getting to know him better, and spending long, lovely years with him as my companion.